free bird ME

"Get a little ink, do a little yoga." ~Britt

I plan on blogging all about my recent trip to the Wanderlust Festival in Austin soon! But I'm going to fast forward to the last few hours of the trip when I decided to pull the trigger on getting my first tattoo. I should sorta back up though because anyone who knows me well, knows that I have never been a fan of tattoos. Mostly in the sense that I am a chicken and have the smallest pain tolerance. I also never really understood why someone would want to put a permanent mark on their body, that would most likely be painful. I mean, it's a needle! I have also never been attracted to men who had them and I felt like girls who did just looked "less feminine" (whatever the hell that means). I was ignoring that maybe, just maybe, these "marks" may have a special meaning. Something so special that only the person enduring them would fully understand.

A few months ago, I met my girlfriend at a wine lounge here in SF.

I was telling her how 2013 has been my best year in a LONG time, possibly ever. I wanted to remember it somehow, so a small tattoo would do the trick. And it did. :) It's been my best year not because I was swooped off my feet by some sexy, rich, dude who flew me all over the world. It has been my best year because I decided it would be. Really, I did. I put this post-it on my fridge last January, basically engraving into my head that this was going to be MY BEST YEAR YET. I added my favorite bible verse as a reminder too. I have looked at this every single day, and really created this "best year" on my own.

It was my least anxious, letting go of judgements and expectations, free spirited, time to enjoy this beautiful city, kind of year. And I want to forever remember it. I'm 28 and fully on my own. Not depending on anyone for my happiness or for anything at all. Just being totally about ME and doing whatever it is that makes ME happy. It has been an eye opening year, definitely full of [mostly] happy tears and a much more open mind. For that I am beyond grateful.

I felt like Austin was the perfect place to do it. I was with my best friend who I have known since the age of 5. I was in a brand new city that I fell absolutely in love with. I just finished a renewing yoga/meditation retreat. My mind my clear and my heart was open and set on getting a small bird on my inside wrist. 

I have always thought of myself as a "free bird" and my friends have always implied that I was... in many different ways. ;) The timing was absolutely perfect and I'll never, ever forget it. I will say, it hurt me. A LOT. I am probably a wimp and I'm OK with that. But it really really hurt, and although it only took him less than 30 seconds, I can't imagine myself doing it again. But then again, I never thought I would be getting a tattoo. Or teaching the tattoo artist about the benefits of yoga and actually demonstrating postures inside the parlor.

What a beautiful end to a beautiful weekend in none other than Austin, Texas!

"Free bird Jackie"..... I like it. A lot. :)

Take Care of this Moment

Take care of this moment. Like really good care of this moment. It's the only for sure thing we have. The past is the past and can never be changed. The future can, but the future isn't here yet. All we have is this exact moment. I went for a beautiful walk this afternoon by myself. It's the end of November, it was nearly 70 degrees, I was in a tank top. Ahhhh this is paradise. And I get to live here. :) But as I was walking I was paying attention to each and every moment. The sound of the runners feet passing by me, the smell of the salt water, the feel of the wind messing up my hair. I paid attention to my breath and just the way it felt to expand my lungs and then breathe it all out, just to make room for the next one. Some would call this a walking meditation and I would agree. It was just about being fully conscious and present in that current moment. Nothing else matters, time doesn't mean a thing. 

There is nothing lacking.

Everything you need, you already are. 

I am alive, I am healthy, I am happy.

after yoga smoothie :)

I absolutely love coming home and making a green smoothie after I practice. I was out of spinach tonight so I just fished around in my fridge and threw something together. Now, I'm hooked on this one, it was so delish! 

I tossed in a handful of organic strawberries* and poured in enough almond milk to cover them up. I blend all that together first to get the blender going, adding a little water if it gets stuck. Then I added a whole banana and dumped in a bunch of chia seeds. Bananas are VERY good for us after we work out because of it's high content of potassium which we lose during sweating. It also brings our energy levels back up, and refuels us, due to it's carbohydrate and protein contents!

Again, I never make exact measurements, I just go with taste and how much I'm looking to eat. IE: sometimes I toss in more spinach if I haven't had my greens for that day. I definitely forgot to add honey in this but will next time. ENJOY!

*Strawberries are one of the foods that harbor the greatest amount of pesticides because they lack a skin, and they have all those grooves that collect junk. So always always always buy them organic.

Forgive and Let Go

The third fundamental from Gandhi is to forgive and let go. Forgiveness is difficult. Maybe the most difficult concept to grasp and put into practice. I would imagine it can take a lifetime to perfect this and maybe we never will entirely. People will hurt us. We will hurt people. Depending on the relationship, different situations will arise and it will be easier (or harder) to forgive. For me, forgiveness means trying to be understanding. Why is this person hurting me? Most likely they are hurting too. Why am I hurting someone who I care for? I'm hurting too, maybe that's why. Our words can be just as difficult to forgive as our actions. 

I was in a terrible car accident in college. The greatest act of forgiveness I have ever witnessed was shown by the mother of the boy who was killed. She told my girlfriend who was driving our car, "I forgive you." With tears streaming down everyone's face, it was the most beautiful experience I have had so far. That is forgiveness in the most true and purest form. It is the first thing I remember whenever I am having trouble forgiving and letting go of something that stung me.

Not only does forgiving, and trying to be understanding of someone's actions free THEM in a way, it also frees US. When we make the decision to accept we were hurt and pay attention to the way it made us feel, but then release it, we are setting ourselves free. We don't have to be a slave anymore to the thoughts, anger, and anxiety that will creep into our minds. 

I have hurt people in my past and I have had to learn how to forgive MYSELF. Which in many ways can be the most difficult. When we aren't proud of our actions we start to feel undeserving, unloved, and unworthy. I know I am deserving, I know my actions do not define me, and because of this, I am able to be more understanding of others mistakes too. So that's forgiveness to me, in its most simple form. I love these:

NYC trip!

For this post, I'm going to dive right into my unbelievable trip to NYC! Ready. Here I go:

Well first let me back up. In early 2012, I went to see Matt Nathanson at the iconic Fillmore here in San Francisco. The adorable girl (and her drummer), who opened up for him was Rachel Platten. I immediately fell in love with them both (but mostly Rachel ;-), and after the show I went home and looked up their tour. A few months later they were back in San Francisco so I rounded some troops and went to watch them play again. We were able to meet them, they signed some CD's, took pics with us, etc. Craig and I kept in touch for a year and a half after that, just talking yoga and travel mostly since those 2 subjects really interest us. A few months ago he told me he was going to be back in San Francisco, this time playing with the also very talented, Brendan James. I went to watch them and briefly was able to reconnect with Craig! With all of that being said, he lives in New Jersey and it was a perfect excuse for me to take a long, overdue vacation to the east coast! A month later I flew out and was able to experience both Jersey City and NYC from a locals perspective. I was so blown away and I can't wait to go back!! Craig and I had an unforgettable 5 days together . We look at life through such a similar lens. We both love yoga, we care about the food we put into our bodies, and we believe in something bigger than just what this earth has to offer. It was an absolutely beautiful week, and Craig is not only gorgeous on the outside but on the inside as well. I left feeling extremely blessed!

On to the photos.......

The first night Craig and Brendan played a benefit show for Alzheimer's Disease. 

Rachel came, I was a little starstruck I have to admit!

Here's NYC from Jersey City. It was too massive to get in one picture. Craig later told me I could have taken a panoramic photo on my iPhone, but I'm slightly illiterate ;-)

 That tall one is the Freedom Tower where the twin towers used to be.

I got to see my girlfriend Liz from San Diego! This is the view from her UNREAL rooftop in Manhattan!!!!!!

Again, it was just way too massive to get in one picture, and seeing the city from this roof was truly amazing, I was in total awe.

Girls Dinner! Katie, Liz, Linsey & Me!

Bob Dylan started playing here:

 Jimi Hendrix here

Washington Square Park, loved it here!!!

Craig & I in Central Park- can we say BEST TOUR GUIDE EVER!!!

Absolutely hilarious roller skate party in Central Park, our stomachs were hurting so bad from laughing so hard.

Got to watch Craig and his friend John play for a second time in Queens!

Empire State Building from the highline.

 We walked the Brooklyn Bridge at night..stunning!

 Times Square at 3am!!!

All in all, it was such a memorable weekend with the best company around. I can't wait to go back, it feels like part of me was left behind anyway. Until next time!!!!!

YOU are in Control

The second point Gandhi makes is easier said than done. And it sort of ties in to "Change Yourself" that I pin pointed in the last post. I have also blogged about this a few times so I won't spend much time on this one.

You are in Control. Yup, total control. You are in control of your mood, your thoughts, and your reactions. You get to wake up in the morning and decide what type of day you will have despite what is going on at the office, or in your relationship, or in the chaotic city you live. How fascinating that we have this much control over our daily lives. Sure, it's difficult at times to remember this and to put this concept into practice. We all have struggled with it and continue to do so daily. But, with continued reminders and trying to look at ourselves from the outside looking in, it starts to become easier. I'm currently reading Eckhart Tolle's book: A New Earth and he is also the author of The Power of Now. His entire idea is concentrated on living in the present moment and that we are NOT our mind. Our minds, also similar to the Ego, have the power to destroy us if we let it. He talks about this and weaves in the idea that once we learn that we have control over our minds, we no longer have to be enslaved by it. It's tough to summarize this in the small amount of typing I want to do here, but all in all, we really do get to choose, we are in control!

I choose happiness. I choose to try my absolute hardest to not allow the actions of others shake me up too much. I choose love for everyone I walk by, letting go of judgements as best I can. I choose to look at every single new day as a blessing to be alive, and the way I decide to spend that day is so important to me! Tomorrow has absolutely no guarantees, we are dust and could be removed from this world in a second. On a more personal level lately, I choose to be vulnerable, and not be afraid of possibly being let down or hurt. I choose honesty, everyday, with myself and the people who surround me. 

You get to choose too. :)

Gandhi's simple words

Alright y'all. One of the hottest trends/fads all over the internet lately are posting positive, encouraging words for your friends to read. It's my my favorite fad to date and I think it's a fabulous one. When we read, and reread quotes that inspire us, it naturally makes us feel better. Maybe even gives us some hope or at least gets us thinking. I want to suggest signing up for Elephant Journal. It's similar to Mind Body Green, and you get emails each day on yoga, spirituality, health, articles that will make you laugh, etc. Today I opened my email with Gandhi's Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing the World:

I read this over and over a few times and it really hit a chord with me. All 10 of them. SO, I'm going to blog about each one, relate it to my life in a way and then relate it to yours. I don't get around to doing this very frequently so who knows how long all 10 will take, but I'll try not to keep them too long.

Let's start with Change Yourself.

We are told from a young age that we can't change other people, only ourselves. While we go in and out of relationships, we tend to forget this, or at least I have. When we interact with our friends or people we work with, we also tend to forget this. I have caught myself in relationships/friendships in my life, feeling upset and confused when people didn't act or respond the way I wanted them to. Or the way I would expect them to, or even the way I would have acted myself. But over the last year or so, and with much prayer, I have become more patient and understanding when these situations arise. People are who they are. We never know what type of day someone is having or why a person chooses to act the way they do. We don't know if a family member has been hurt, or if a job has been lost, or if that person was just never really taught basic fundamentals in communicating, etc. There are so many reasons why people react the way they do, and all we can do is try to be understanding. We can choose to spend less time with those people, or if they are family members, or spouses, we love them anyway. We try not to get angry when they aren't responding the way we would. We can try to change our response and remember that is the ONLY thing we CAN change. This was the first thing that came to mind with this simple but complex statement. That's what I loved about all 10 of these, was that Gandhi chose 10 simple fundamentals for us to live by. And all of them are difficult but such an amazing goal to strive towards. To summarize, changing yourself for me, meant changing my expectations of others. But this could definitely mean changing from an old you to a new you. Someone that you see as "better or more positive, or more patient." It can mean anything, really. But try to remember you can only change yourself. Seek understanding in anyway that suits you. For me, I pray. I ask God to help me understand that everyone is different and has their own beautiful way of reacting and responding. That people will look at me and feel that I'm different and that's OK. That although one way may be different than mine, it is not weird or wrong, it is just that. Different. And that is A-OK.

To leave us tonight, here's a video that has absolutely nothing to do with what I've just posted. But I can barely contain my excitement with the new release of The Head and The Heart's new video!!!!! I love them so much! I discovered this band at last year's FREE Bluegrass Festival here in San Francisco. Now they are selling out all over the country, I'm stoked for them! Such talent... Enjoy!

night dreaming

Right now, at this very moment, I'm night dreaming. I'm obviously awake because I am typing this, but I'm night dreaming. It's exactly like day dreaming.... but it's night. Anyway, a goal of mine this year was to visit some cities in the US that I haven't seen yet. I feel like I have done quite a bit of traveling out of our country and I have really missed some amazing places right here. So tonight I have been night dreaming about the amazing weekend Allison and I had on our first trip to Portland. What a cool city! We rented bikes which was definitely the way to see this city in depth, and rode around to multiple breweries and restaurants all weekend long. NYC is coming up next then Austin for another Wanderlust experience! All is good. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Being tourists in Portland :)

(I don't know why my arm is black, I promise I didn't fall).

I'll bring you morning coffee and then wrap you up in me...

It's Saturday night and it's been months since I've stayed in on a weekend night. There's just way too much to do in this city and I FOMO easily on the weekends only because I'm a social person and I absolutely love going out in San Francisco. There is just such a variety here and the vibes are always good. And since I relax most week day nights, it's nice to congregate with good company to the plethora of restaurants and bars we have here. But not tonight. Nope, I'm staying in, writing a hand written letter to a friend across the world, and listening to whatever I want without interruptions. I love everything about this not-so-lonely-night in my adorable SF apartment:

Oh, and I found a use for this Moscow Mule tin:

I love looking around my apartment and feeling such a sense of contentment here. It's small, I don't have a dishwasher, and this morning I had to step over a man who fell asleep on my front porch. But I love it here. I'm happy here. 

I was thinking tonight how it's natural for us as human beings to second guess decisions we've made in the past. When we come to cross roads and have to make a choice on which direction to take. It becomes even more difficult when we have absolutely no idea which is the better direction, left or right? East or West? Yes or No? And once we have made the decision, was it really the "right" decision? How would my life be different if I chose the other path instead of this one? It's so easy to be consumed by the "what if's", but we've all done it. For me, this is where prayer and reflection become such a necessity. We can ask our family and friends for help with decisions, but I believe that paying close attention to what God, our body and intuition are trying to tell us, is far more beneficial than any advice others who are out of our skin, could give. So I guess tonight, I just hope that you will listen to your feelings. Listen to the uneasiness or the ease that our bodies naturally give us when we're forced with difficult decisions. And once the decision has been made, try not to harp on it any longer. Try not to be consumed with looking backwards. So much of life is wasted on pointless thoughts over "would have, could have, should have." 

When I was pinning tonight, I saw this:

Pretty perfect for what was on my mind tonight, and oh so true!

Here's what I'm listening to at this moment, she does the best Dylan covers!

And this...

And this...

Wander-lusting

Wan-der-lust

noun

A strong desire to travel: "a man consumed by wanderlust".

This yoga/music/meditation/hiking/let's hang out in nature for a weekend festival, takes place in about 5 different locations around the US and Canada. I had heard of it before, but hadn't really researched much about it. Once I did, I planned my whole trip in under a week before the festival started. I knew I had to experience this. I frantically started looking for tickets and accommodation options on Craigslist and Facebook. Since this was a last minute decision, I didn't have much time to get nervous or try to prepare myself for the journey I was throwing myself into. Here's the kicker: I went alone. Yup, all alone. Totally solo. I had thrown the idea out to a couple girlfriends but inside, I was secretly hoping no one would pull the trigger and join me. (Which they didn't). So, I packed up my car, met my grandma's friend to borrow some camping gear, and drove 4 hours up to Squaw Valley in North Lake Tahoe.

Patrice and I doing the exchange:)

When I drove into Squaw Village I was literally blown away. Mountain towns look so different in the summer time. I actually prefer the mountains in summer with the colors and the definition that you can't really tell are there when covered in snow. I decided to camp at the very top at 8,200 feet. So I loaded all my things on my back and in my arms and hopped on the gondola!

 

When I got to the the top, the view literally took my breath away. I would be camping here for 3 nights! It was absolutely beautiful. 2 really nice people helped me set up my tent, which framed the start of new friendships.

I had no idea what to expect out of this festival or what the next 3 days had in store for me. I brought a journal and a book I've recently started, "The Power of Now". Although I didn't read or write nearly as much as I thought I would, I took clear and concise mental notes over the weekend. I did my best to take enough photos to remind myself the way I felt at that particular time. As I started meeting people I found that 9 out of 10 of them had traveled to this festival alone. All looking for a deeper sense into themselves that didn't include their norm. We all wanted to step out of our comfort zone, and although some of us felt hesitant or frightened at first, once we started opening up and talking to each other it was like a light bulb went off. This is what life is all about. At least for me, this is exactly what life is all about. Establishing relationships, meeting new faces and personalities, and hearing others stories. Everyone has a story, and I became more aware of this during this weekend than I ever have in my life. I was taught during these few days just how important it is to not only hear other people but really listen. Just giving someone your time and attention can drastically make an imprint in someone's life. I met people of all different ages, from different parts of the world, with very different views on life and what it is that makes them happy. But the very thing we all had in common, and what I believe all humans share, is that we all want to be happy. I think many people went on this retreat knowing that they would be happy here. It was a place to release any barriers or walls you may be carrying, and in turn it taught me how to let go of judgements of myself and of others. We are all guilty of judging but during this weekend, at least in my eyes, I felt like it didn't exist. You were free to come as you are and it suddenly felt like a new comfort zone, as if I had been living here my whole life. I was so happy.

Onto the Yoga. It was amazing to practice yoga out in the open air! No studios, just clean mountain air. Breathing it all in and loving it all out. The first photo was an ice skate rink where we practiced overlooking Lake Tahoe:

Massive tent, and a DJ played while we practiced:

Acroyogis and slack liners were so fun to watch:

Take what you need. I took Patience :)

Meditation in this beautiful setting!

Wanderlust was all about clean, sustainable eating. The food trucks were primarily vegan (which I'm not), but I loved putting the healthiest ingredients into my body, (except for the evenings of course) :

Amazing pool party at 8,200 feet! So much yoga talent ;-)

I camped next to the sweetest yoga teacher who was helping me with my Camel posture:

She then told me she was positive I could get into full camel, so I tried. Not too bad for first try!!

Friendships that were made:

Evenings included music by Moby and MC Yogi! The energy was amazing and hearts were open!!

And I bumped into the one and only Rachel Brathen (@yoga_girl)!

Summarizing this experience is hard to do briefly but I'll try! I left Tahoe with a renewed appreciation for the gorgeous mountains. The smell of the trees and the fresh air makes me want to do my part in preserving our environment the best I can. They saved over 30,000 bottled waters by asking us to bring our own and use the water stations they had set up. I loved watching that number get bigger and bigger as the weekend went on. I walked around that festival with a bigger heart than I ever have before, allowing the positive feelings of other people radiate in me. I was open, ready and willing to see our world from a different point of view. That just because people do things differently does not mean they are weird or wrong. During the many conversations I had, I gave my full attention to the person I was speaking with. I was engaged and interested in the ideas and stories people were willing to share with me about themselves and their own journeys. I let go of judgements. I hugged strangers. I thanked God for giving me this experience and allowing me the courage to let walls fall down. I came to a deeper realization than ever before, that life is fragile and it can be taken away from us in a second. That the things we harp on and get upset over are not worth the pain and anxiety. That we make big deals out of small things and that the only thing that really matters is that we are happy. And that we can love, be loved, and are more deserving of it than we probably give ourselves credit. I left with 10 new friends and an openness that I haven't received from traveling before. 

I hope yoga and meditation will be able to seep into everyone's life that I care about. The benefits are healing and healthy and you can even attend festivals like this if you want. :)