October 27, 2013

Forgive and Let Go


The third fundamental from Gandhi is to forgive and let go. Forgiveness is difficult. Maybe the most difficult concept to grasp and put into practice. I would imagine it can take a lifetime to perfect this and maybe we never will entirely. People will hurt us. We will hurt people. Depending on the relationship, different situations will arise and it will be easier (or harder) to forgive. For me, forgiveness means trying to be understanding. Why is this person hurting me? Most likely they are hurting too. Why am I hurting someone who I care for? I'm hurting too, maybe that's why. Our words can be just as difficult to forgive as our actions. 
I was in a terrible car accident in college. The greatest act of forgiveness I have ever witnessed was shown by the mother of the boy who was killed. She told my girlfriend who was driving our car, "I forgive you." With tears streaming down everyone's face, it was the most beautiful experience I have had so far. That is forgiveness in the most true and purest form. It is the first thing I remember whenever I am having trouble forgiving and letting go of something that stung me.
Not only does forgiving, and trying to be understanding of someone's actions free THEM in a way, it also frees US. When we make the decision to accept we were hurt and pay attention to the way it made us feel, but then release it, we are setting ourselves free. We don't have to be a slave anymore to the thoughts, anger, and anxiety that will creep into our minds. 
I have hurt people in my past and I have had to learn how to forgive MYSELF. Which in many ways can be the most difficult. When we aren't proud of our actions we start to feel undeserving, unloved, and unworthy. I know I am deserving, I know my actions do not define me, and because of this, I am able to be more understanding of others mistakes too. So that's forgiveness to me, in its most simple form. I love these:






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