Didn't mean for this to be a Yoga blog...

Adam and I spent our Sunday at the beach yesterday (shocker, I know). While in the midst of reading Eat, Pray, Love (for my second time may I add), I interrupt Adam and read him this excerpt:

"Here's what I caught myself thinking about in meditation this morning.
I was wondering where I should live once this year of traveling has ended. I don't want to move back to New York just out of reflex. Maybe a new town, instead. Austin is supposed to be nice. And Chicago has all that beautiful architecture. Horrible winters, though. Or maybe I'll live abroad. I've heard good things about Sydney... If I lived somewhere cheaper than New York, maybe I could afford an extra bedroom and then I could have a special meditation room! That'd be nice. I could paint it gold. Or maybe a rich blue. No, gold. No, blue...."

The woman in the book then starts to criticize herself about worrying about all of these things when she is supposed to be meditating:

"...how about you try to meditate right here, right now, right where you actually are?"

I re-read this once to Adam and once again to myself. It was like this woman in the book wrote this page with my name all over it. I was reading myself to a "T". Except I usually dream of living in New Zealand or somewhere with our own private beach where we grow all our own food and own chickens.... And I would prefer a yoga room instead of a meditation room but I guess they could be used interchangeably. But the most important part of this excerpt that really stuck out at me was this woman was supposed to be in a relaxed state of mind (something each of us crave), and she's in an Ashram in a beautiful part of India, and instead she was stuck wandering off worrying about the future. She was not present.

I catch myself doing this in Yoga far too often. Then I will get really upset and frustrated with myself for not focusing and not getting all the benefits of peace and quiet while I'm practicing. My yoga teacher always says, "This is your 90 minute meditation. Leave all worries out the door, you can deal with them when you leave this room. Right now, this is about YOU." So much easier said than done, let me tell you. But I believe this is one of the goals of Yoga. Not just trying to improve on each of the physical postures, but learning to clear your head for 90 minutes straight, without thinking of anything on the outside. Why is this so hard for us "westerners" as the author in my book always puts it?

I wasn't meaning for today's entry to focus on yoga, rather, how difficult it is for me to try to stay present. I imagine others have this same hardship at times, if they really delve into what was happening in their mind at any given moment, I bet more people would realize it.... But I think I will talk a little bit more about one of my favorite hobbies.

First, did I mention I practice Bikram Yoga? I realize everyone will have their own opinions about Bikram, even if they have only tried it once or possibly never. Here is what I constantly hear about it: "I can't stand the heat!" "I almost puked the first time or two I tried it." Now, coming from myself who hates extreme highs and lows (and feels perfectly content in my San Diego 70 degrees and sunny almost all year round), I have to say I know for a fact it's a mental concern. Again, this is one of the more difficult areas of this type of yoga especially: ignoring the discomforts and breathing into them. I have tried a couple different types of Yoga, and for me personally, this is the most challenging. Sure, it's challenging to get on your head and in Crow (which is basically putting all of your body weight onto your wrists which I am physically not able to do), but Bikram is different. The room usually averages about 110 degrees and by the first posture you have sweat dripping into your eyes and all you can think about is an ice cold shower or chugging your water bottle which keeps staring at you while your heart is beating out of your tank top. But here is why I love Bikram and hope to continue practicing until I'm well into my 70's. :

-You can't bend metal unless it's warmed up. Your muscles are like metal. They need to be warmed up in order to stretch and in order to properly get into the postures. The heat helps with this tremendously and actually makes the yoga much more pleasant because your body won't hurt as much.
-You get 20 seconds of "Savasana" (dead man's pose, or total relaxation on your back) between each posture which is crucial for the blood to continue the natural flow through the body.
-You are CLEANSED from the inside-out!! My skin started glowing and was baby smooth, my acne cleared up, and all of the toxins were excreted from my body. You don't get this much sweat released while running for 30 minutes.
-The heat helps with circulation. Being a dental hygienist, this is really important for me to keep my blood flowing to the areas I'm in most pain. I haven't found this with other yoga's.... yet.
-The instructor does not do the postures with you. I love this because it leaves room for correction.

Finally, due to the injuries I sustained in my car accident (also another blog if I get the courage to go there), it is crucial for my body to be warmed up from the inside-out before I get into the postures. I truly love Bikram so incredibly much. It has repaid me more than I could ask for and I love the way my body feels after this 90 min session. Please give it a try and let me know how it goes... but WARNING: most people despise it the first time, and even for the first week. Only with regular yoga will you start to feel the benefits (3-4 times a week). So don't judge it right away, give it time to do wonders on your body and mind!!! (I am still working on the 'mind' portion).
I love this photo of Adam in triangle because he's almost doing it perfectly and it's one of the most difficult postures (especially for me) to get into. :)


The only things that really bothers me is the price of Yoga. Why do we have to pay $130 a month to obtain a state of relaxation and health? I think it's because the heating bills must be really high and of course, the teachers need to get paid and so does rent. Adam and I have put ideas together about eventually opening a studio. Who knows if it will ever happen, maybe I'll incorporate it into my dental spa that I hope to work in one day too.... anyhow, it's fun to dream about... A green Bikram studio heated by solar panels!!!

My traffic jam

I don't care if it's summer or winter, our local beach here in Encinitas (shown above), always makes me think of 1 word: Tranquil.
~Tranquil- adj. free from commotion; peaceful; calm; unaffected by disturbing emotions; unagitated; serene; placid.
Who doesn't want a life full of each of these descriptions? Not one of these words describes the traffic jam that is often running through my mind.

And this is why I'm starting a blog. Despite the fact that Adam and I already had plans of sharing our upcoming Europe trip with our friends and family, I am interested in getting some of my jumbled thoughts that are intertwined out on "paper". Here are a few examples of my "traffic jam" moments: 1) When I have a million things that need to be done, I think of all of them in a matter of 15 seconds and then at times I will start to hyperventilate, my BP will rise (or so I think), and Adam will say "shhh shh, it's OK... just lay down for a minute." 2) Sometimes I will get way too ahead of myself and start thinking about the future. Where will we settle down? what will our financial situation be like? 3) This one always gets to me: I will start thinking about the people in my life who I have lost. Anxiety will start to flood me and I will feel sad until I can preoccupy my mind with something else. ~The problem with this so-called "traffic jam" is that I am worrying about things I usually have no control over, and most importantly, I am not PRESENT.

Now don't get me wrong here. I am not some unstable, depressed, wreck. I have the biggest love for life that is imaginable. I have never self medicated (other than a glass of wine or 2... or 3..), and I am highly against altering your body or mind to temporarily hide discomfort. I'd like to think that I am similar to several other 20 something women; maybe a tad too literal and emotional at times. And I'm OK with that. But I do want to try to obtain a more peaceful, tranquil state of mind when the traffic starts pouring in. Yoga helps at times too, but that's a different blog....

Now back to my beach photo (scroll to the very top of this blog... I snapped while Adam and I took a walk up the coast). I am in my most relaxed state of mind when I'm at the beach. The smell of the salt water and the sounds of the waves (and even the annoying seagulls), put me at such ease. I feel more present at the beach than I do anywhere else. It's like a wall is built up in my mind that doesn't allow anymore traffic to run through. ANY beach will do and it doesn't matter the time of year. Once when I lived in Australia, I bundled up during a rain storm, and sat outside a covered cafe watching the waves violently crash on the beach in front of me. Although it was cold and cloudy, I was calm. I have a feeling there will be several of my favorite beach photos in this blog (all of which I have personally taken).


This will probably be one of my longest rants. I'll try not to ramble too much as I don't want to bore anyone who may just take the time to read this. My goal for this new blog is to write down things that come to my mind from time to time, because chances are, you're relating in some way. Also, we'll be blogging a lot when we take our 2 month Europe getaway:)