My traffic jam

I don't care if it's summer or winter, our local beach here in Encinitas (shown above), always makes me think of 1 word: Tranquil.
~Tranquil- adj. free from commotion; peaceful; calm; unaffected by disturbing emotions; unagitated; serene; placid.
Who doesn't want a life full of each of these descriptions? Not one of these words describes the traffic jam that is often running through my mind.

And this is why I'm starting a blog. Despite the fact that Adam and I already had plans of sharing our upcoming Europe trip with our friends and family, I am interested in getting some of my jumbled thoughts that are intertwined out on "paper". Here are a few examples of my "traffic jam" moments: 1) When I have a million things that need to be done, I think of all of them in a matter of 15 seconds and then at times I will start to hyperventilate, my BP will rise (or so I think), and Adam will say "shhh shh, it's OK... just lay down for a minute." 2) Sometimes I will get way too ahead of myself and start thinking about the future. Where will we settle down? what will our financial situation be like? 3) This one always gets to me: I will start thinking about the people in my life who I have lost. Anxiety will start to flood me and I will feel sad until I can preoccupy my mind with something else. ~The problem with this so-called "traffic jam" is that I am worrying about things I usually have no control over, and most importantly, I am not PRESENT.

Now don't get me wrong here. I am not some unstable, depressed, wreck. I have the biggest love for life that is imaginable. I have never self medicated (other than a glass of wine or 2... or 3..), and I am highly against altering your body or mind to temporarily hide discomfort. I'd like to think that I am similar to several other 20 something women; maybe a tad too literal and emotional at times. And I'm OK with that. But I do want to try to obtain a more peaceful, tranquil state of mind when the traffic starts pouring in. Yoga helps at times too, but that's a different blog....

Now back to my beach photo (scroll to the very top of this blog... I snapped while Adam and I took a walk up the coast). I am in my most relaxed state of mind when I'm at the beach. The smell of the salt water and the sounds of the waves (and even the annoying seagulls), put me at such ease. I feel more present at the beach than I do anywhere else. It's like a wall is built up in my mind that doesn't allow anymore traffic to run through. ANY beach will do and it doesn't matter the time of year. Once when I lived in Australia, I bundled up during a rain storm, and sat outside a covered cafe watching the waves violently crash on the beach in front of me. Although it was cold and cloudy, I was calm. I have a feeling there will be several of my favorite beach photos in this blog (all of which I have personally taken).


This will probably be one of my longest rants. I'll try not to ramble too much as I don't want to bore anyone who may just take the time to read this. My goal for this new blog is to write down things that come to my mind from time to time, because chances are, you're relating in some way. Also, we'll be blogging a lot when we take our 2 month Europe getaway:)