Wanderlusting.... take 3!

My girlfriends and I have just returned from another Wanderlust Festival in Lake Tahoe. The entire weekend is geared towards going inward, observing your practice without judgements and basically just doing a bunch of yoga/meditation/hikes with a bunch of awesome people. Not to mention Squaw Valley is ungodly stunning, so being outside is the main draw.  

This was the third Wanderlust I've attended and although I "know what to expect", I really don't because each trip is uniquely it's own. This year, I went with two long time girlfriends and met up with a handful of our friends from prior festivals. We left with even more friends and the pattern of this is beyond beautiful to me. That we as humans can cultivate these powerful friendships and experiences. Some that may only last for a couple days, or for a night, or even a few minutes. Others may last months or years, but to me, the astonishing beauty of it all, is that we are willing to throw ourselves into these unknown environments with strangers, and leave them feeling lifted up and stimulated. That we can meet someone, learn from them and they from you, and then part ways. Maybe exchanging phone numbers or emails or nothing at all except that fragment of time where you just felt the intense effect of human interaction. The fact that people I have never met can have these overwhelming feelings on me, just shows what we as humans are capable of. It restores humanity in my eyes and each time I leave I am reminded that collectively we are good. That although we are still capable of unimaginable violence and hatred, we as a whole all want the exact same thing: to be loved, appreciated, understood. And when we are, we are able to give all of that back. It's an absolutely fascinating cycle. We are much more alike than we are different and Wanderlust proves this.

^3 city girls camping is pretty comical. #overpackmuch?

This weekend is important for me because I'm able to come back to San Francisco, and do my absolute best to give and love and let go of judgements (both of myself and others) and just accept life and people as they are. I'm reminded that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm able to refresh on the fact that nothing needs to be changed or altered. That when we can accept and love other people exactly as they are, as well as our life exactly as it is, it will be given right back to us. It's the most authentic result that exists. Am I perfect at this? Hell no. Do I worry and try to change my circumstances or throw pity parties on myself? Of course. I guess my overall point is that my faith in all of us becomes renewed each time I attend this festival. My faith in myself too. I was fortunate enough to not be born in a third world country or anywhere around our world, where people are suffering from extreme hardship and fear. So all I can do is appreciate this one life, in this one beautiful city. I have the power to treat myself and the ones who cross my path, with the upmost compassion and love the best way I can. Will it always be easy? No. But am I getting better at it? Absolutely.

GRATEFUL is the purest word I can use to describe this past weekend. For my arms and legs that allow me to flow, for my mind that I am learning to be less defined by. For my breath and the soul ability to inhale and exhale and be in charge of that. For these beautiful relationships that form in 3 days that I will remember for the rest of my life. For the mountains, nature and fresh air. The torrential downpour we watched through the floor to ceiling windows during our Led Zeppelin yoga class:) The PEOPLE that listen and hear. The hugs and kisses and touching between us as people that just feel SO DAMN GOOD. The laughs between old friends and strangers. The simple ability to fill our bellies with the healthiest foods on the planet. Music. Life. and the most important of them all, God.

Thankful beyond belief. :):)

^yes!

Without action, you aren't going anywhere!

Gandhi's 4th point: Without action, you aren't going anywhere. Taking action can be hard. But really, without taking action, very little will be done. Recently I felt like I was lacking a sense of quietness. Living in the heart of San Francisco and having numerous social opportunities surrounding me, I was beginning to feel like I just wanted to be submersed in good old fashion peace and quiet. (whatever that means). Meditation has always been difficult for me because I have never practiced it on a regular basis and I feel like my mind is stuffed with clutter sometimes which has also made it hard for me to concentrate on basically nothing. To me, this is a huge red flag screaming at me saying how much I NEED MEDITATION. 

I read a plethora of spiritual books & blogs, and I try to practice yoga on average 3-4 times per week. I felt like by reading and studying endlessly on how to be more calm and present, I was still lacking the peace that my mind has been craving. Until this week...

My girlfriend and I took a vinyasa flow/meditation class in one of the most peaceful and beautiful setting I have ever seen. It was inside a stunning church on top of historic Nob Hill, only a block from my apartment. The second I walked in, I was flooded with emotion. The happy, relaxing emotional feeling that was telling me: This is exactly where you are supposed to be. We were there 30 minutes early and I looked around at people just lying on their mats, eyes closed, hands on stomach and chest, paying attention to their breath it seemed. 

I think my point is just to emphasize for myself at least, that reading books and blogs give me a sense of knowledge which is great. But only physically putting what I am learning into practice, will I actually start to feel results. I can't even explain the way I felt walking out of that class. I felt like I was carrying less weight, I felt more clear. Meditation allows us to look at ourselves, almost like we're floating up out of our bodies and and looking down. We're allowed to observe our feelings, sad or happy or neutral. We accept the feelings exactly as they are without judgement or trying to shove them away. Answers begin to come to us when our minds are quiet. We can think more clearly. I am so grateful I stepped into this class, it will be my new Tuesday night routine. So overall, no matter how great the obstacle or what we feel we're lacking, we have to take the first step at some point to get to where we want (or in my case, NEED) to be. 

free bird ME

"Get a little ink, do a little yoga." ~Britt

I plan on blogging all about my recent trip to the Wanderlust Festival in Austin soon! But I'm going to fast forward to the last few hours of the trip when I decided to pull the trigger on getting my first tattoo. I should sorta back up though because anyone who knows me well, knows that I have never been a fan of tattoos. Mostly in the sense that I am a chicken and have the smallest pain tolerance. I also never really understood why someone would want to put a permanent mark on their body, that would most likely be painful. I mean, it's a needle! I have also never been attracted to men who had them and I felt like girls who did just looked "less feminine" (whatever the hell that means). I was ignoring that maybe, just maybe, these "marks" may have a special meaning. Something so special that only the person enduring them would fully understand.

A few months ago, I met my girlfriend at a wine lounge here in SF.

I was telling her how 2013 has been my best year in a LONG time, possibly ever. I wanted to remember it somehow, so a small tattoo would do the trick. And it did. :) It's been my best year not because I was swooped off my feet by some sexy, rich, dude who flew me all over the world. It has been my best year because I decided it would be. Really, I did. I put this post-it on my fridge last January, basically engraving into my head that this was going to be MY BEST YEAR YET. I added my favorite bible verse as a reminder too. I have looked at this every single day, and really created this "best year" on my own.

It was my least anxious, letting go of judgements and expectations, free spirited, time to enjoy this beautiful city, kind of year. And I want to forever remember it. I'm 28 and fully on my own. Not depending on anyone for my happiness or for anything at all. Just being totally about ME and doing whatever it is that makes ME happy. It has been an eye opening year, definitely full of [mostly] happy tears and a much more open mind. For that I am beyond grateful.

I felt like Austin was the perfect place to do it. I was with my best friend who I have known since the age of 5. I was in a brand new city that I fell absolutely in love with. I just finished a renewing yoga/meditation retreat. My mind my clear and my heart was open and set on getting a small bird on my inside wrist. 

I have always thought of myself as a "free bird" and my friends have always implied that I was... in many different ways. ;) The timing was absolutely perfect and I'll never, ever forget it. I will say, it hurt me. A LOT. I am probably a wimp and I'm OK with that. But it really really hurt, and although it only took him less than 30 seconds, I can't imagine myself doing it again. But then again, I never thought I would be getting a tattoo. Or teaching the tattoo artist about the benefits of yoga and actually demonstrating postures inside the parlor.

What a beautiful end to a beautiful weekend in none other than Austin, Texas!

"Free bird Jackie"..... I like it. A lot. :)

Take Care of this Moment

Take care of this moment. Like really good care of this moment. It's the only for sure thing we have. The past is the past and can never be changed. The future can, but the future isn't here yet. All we have is this exact moment. I went for a beautiful walk this afternoon by myself. It's the end of November, it was nearly 70 degrees, I was in a tank top. Ahhhh this is paradise. And I get to live here. :) But as I was walking I was paying attention to each and every moment. The sound of the runners feet passing by me, the smell of the salt water, the feel of the wind messing up my hair. I paid attention to my breath and just the way it felt to expand my lungs and then breathe it all out, just to make room for the next one. Some would call this a walking meditation and I would agree. It was just about being fully conscious and present in that current moment. Nothing else matters, time doesn't mean a thing. 

There is nothing lacking.

Everything you need, you already are. 

I am alive, I am healthy, I am happy.

after yoga smoothie :)

I absolutely love coming home and making a green smoothie after I practice. I was out of spinach tonight so I just fished around in my fridge and threw something together. Now, I'm hooked on this one, it was so delish! 

I tossed in a handful of organic strawberries* and poured in enough almond milk to cover them up. I blend all that together first to get the blender going, adding a little water if it gets stuck. Then I added a whole banana and dumped in a bunch of chia seeds. Bananas are VERY good for us after we work out because of it's high content of potassium which we lose during sweating. It also brings our energy levels back up, and refuels us, due to it's carbohydrate and protein contents!

Again, I never make exact measurements, I just go with taste and how much I'm looking to eat. IE: sometimes I toss in more spinach if I haven't had my greens for that day. I definitely forgot to add honey in this but will next time. ENJOY!

*Strawberries are one of the foods that harbor the greatest amount of pesticides because they lack a skin, and they have all those grooves that collect junk. So always always always buy them organic.

Forgive and Let Go

The third fundamental from Gandhi is to forgive and let go. Forgiveness is difficult. Maybe the most difficult concept to grasp and put into practice. I would imagine it can take a lifetime to perfect this and maybe we never will entirely. People will hurt us. We will hurt people. Depending on the relationship, different situations will arise and it will be easier (or harder) to forgive. For me, forgiveness means trying to be understanding. Why is this person hurting me? Most likely they are hurting too. Why am I hurting someone who I care for? I'm hurting too, maybe that's why. Our words can be just as difficult to forgive as our actions. 

I was in a terrible car accident in college. The greatest act of forgiveness I have ever witnessed was shown by the mother of the boy who was killed. She told my girlfriend who was driving our car, "I forgive you." With tears streaming down everyone's face, it was the most beautiful experience I have had so far. That is forgiveness in the most true and purest form. It is the first thing I remember whenever I am having trouble forgiving and letting go of something that stung me.

Not only does forgiving, and trying to be understanding of someone's actions free THEM in a way, it also frees US. When we make the decision to accept we were hurt and pay attention to the way it made us feel, but then release it, we are setting ourselves free. We don't have to be a slave anymore to the thoughts, anger, and anxiety that will creep into our minds. 

I have hurt people in my past and I have had to learn how to forgive MYSELF. Which in many ways can be the most difficult. When we aren't proud of our actions we start to feel undeserving, unloved, and unworthy. I know I am deserving, I know my actions do not define me, and because of this, I am able to be more understanding of others mistakes too. So that's forgiveness to me, in its most simple form. I love these: